Can your love surround me?
Do you care about this just one me?
Would you sit with me and just let me...
sink into your depth
breath in your beauty
belong
loved

My twin and I

The stars called to us, coaxing us out of our floating bed
Carefully we crawled out of the overhead window
and slipped across the creaking dock to its edge
Placing our feet over the edge we let our feet touch the familiar water
Softly we discussed life’s mysteries
We spoke of attraction, love, parents, and children.
We shared what we had missed together in our separation
We marvelled at God and Hid direction in our lives
Staring into the dark, swirling depth, we reminisced.
We ached over our losses and hoped for our joys.
Unable to keep our eyes open, we climbed back into the Gal Alee
Lying next to her on the rocking berth,
My thoughts ran wild as I remembered our beginnings


The lapping waves were our companions..
The roar of trains our lullaby
We lived innocently in the world of our friendship
Artic foxes we could quickly become
Scissors in hand we cut magazines to create life
We shared the fear of butter knifes
Tony and Orville were our childhood mascots
Radio stations were created while folding laundry
Spontaneous songs broke forth between us
Dishes became a race against time... and the castle inspector
We read the most boringest books to eachother
Lamby boy was always a nuisance
Misty was our pride and joy
Curious, we played school together
Bored, we organized under our bed regularly
Our room was a furniture rearrangement center
We whispered our secret fears and dreams
We analyzed everyone that we knew together
Stories late into the night turned into endless epics
"The prince and the pinkie kisser" priceless
Our daydreams were shared and complicated
Piano lessons was a trial we bore together... bravely
Our love for Paige became a letter we wrote together
We discovered the "tiny dipper"
The poplar trees were our guardians
The orchard our fairyland
We were best friends... we thought nothing would ever change

The salt air was an intoxicating magic upon our lives
Half mermaids... we lived to swim during the summer
We overturned boats, quickly learned to avoid kelp beds, "fished" for seaweed and sold it at the local "market", became pirates in our leaky dingy, collected crabs... named them... and then let them go, jumped out of our kayaks... or sat on the backs with our feet dangling out, jumped off of the sea wall, became sea lions and whales, dug our way to china, fished for bullheads, made dams in the creek, explored the forbidden creed bed, feared jellyfish, and collected enough rocks and shells to be millionaires.

We shared the awe of stormy winter days as our playland turned into a theatre.
Huge rolling waves and whitecaps captured our attention. Seagulls playing in the strong winds made us smile and dream. Waves hitting the boatramp and splashing in majestic displays to hit our window, kill our grass and rain rocks everywhere made us gasp in delight. Fog sliding in bringing its eerie silence and the ferry's fog horns made us whisper. The grey, green foreboding colour of the water gave us respect, and its crystal clearness made us long for summer.


It seemed that life would always be so...
Our contest to get in bed first to avoid switching off the light would never end!
We would always run together… wild, barefoot, and free on our beach, climb our sea wall rocks, and explore our summer neighbours' yards.
But God has expanded our experiences and claimed our lives for Him, moving us to separate adventures and circles of influence.
Still... I will never forget our beginning. No one else will ever have her place.
She is my twin… I learned to speak alongside of her. I will never belong anywhere like I belong with her.

soul

Love, Hate, laugh, cry.....
burst. incontrollably spill. explode.
Anger and rage. Joy and affection.
Pain and sensitivity. Fear and hardness.
Peace and hope. Commitment and desire.
Broken and being refined, Pride bruised and suffering
I sometimes don't know whether I'm coming or going
Soul's are very strange things....

I certainly don't understand mine

real love

If you ran away...

I would cry
I would chase you down the road
and...
I wouldn't hit you..
I would hold you in my arms

When she spoke these words to me, tears streaming down her face, voice trembling with emotion, I was destroyed inside. My bitter walls were broken. I don't know if I've ever sobbed like that. God, help me get out. Help me get out of my cage of dysfunctional thinking. The Pain, anger, hurt, and messed up view of love.
Thank you for Tina.

grace?

I have received the Spirit of God, and NO, it was by nothing I've done, only by the hearing of faith, by him coming down to me. how come I strive and strive and strive so much to be perfect? In that I move even farther away from the truth, His grace, his salvation and even cause it to have been in vain that Christ went to the cross. How horrible. This is a worse thing than falling over and over again to let myself be picked up again by His grace. Curse this pride that turns me away from his grace. Oh God that you would pour your grace over me, to humble me, to save me. I give in.

I don't want to be able to boast of anything that I've done, only pointing towards the cross as the only means of my feet being able to stand on the floor this day. Anything I do, may it be because I boast in the cross.

May the grace of Jesus be with my Spirit. Truly... this is my prayer. Your grace Lord, I need it desperately. Help me grasp it. Reveal it to me. I need you.