skewed view

Who are you?

I see you as disgusted; you put up with me cause you made me, but love is definately a choice. When I'm a mess, you stand with your arms crossed smirking at my pitifulness.

These images are so strong. They aren't truth... I hope, I would pray, I would tearfully plead, but they are the reality in my mind as of now. I can't go on like this. Reveal yourself to me, show me your love, that grace that I hear of. What I read in your Word is even interpreted through this... lie. If the truth of your love is indeed the truth, I need to know it!!! No one else can tell me, no one else can show me, I can't even convince myself... My brain is cloaked in a cage of lies.

What do you think of me when I'm at my worst? And I mean my worst!!. How do you treat me? How can I discover this? Teach me to know you! I cannot expect to make you into who I want to, but I can't continue believing your someone you aren't. Teach me who you are.
I cling to you no matter the outcome.

Friends: please pray that I will see Jesus for who He says He is. please pray that He reveals himself to me. I cannot continue on much longer in the torment that I endure daily. I need the peace and deliverance from fear that an encounter with what I cannot imagine would bring... love.

~ could I ever dance with him in an intamacy laced with pure love and delight? ~ FREEDOM!!!
tear